Monday 11 July 2016

A Mumbaikar

runs steady to join the
blatant ruckus of the crowd
and finds himself amidst the toil
in the morning and climbs the 
fast local only to hurry.
Nothing passes silkily as the 
blaring and the compulsion to
ride withdraws the sting that a
Mumbaikar goes through daily.

At the foot-board hang many as
they enjoy the ugly green fields,
buildings, slums and the breeze
without noticing the menace that
clings but only do they hurry.
Munching breakfasts on their way
when there’s no place to stand
the climbers roar nicely:
“The train’s empty, move in!”

The peak hours being in the
morning and in the evening
is a must see for an outsider
where s/he will locate
the Mumbaikars who only hurry.
As unpleasant is the train ride
and the workplace, peace is found
at home for some as for others
life has to move on and on.

2 comments:

  1. Good rhythm, and flow is maintained well, especially in the last 2 stanzas. The first stanza has a few stilted moments however, particularly the 4th and 8th lines. Maybe use the dash(-) to have greater control over the rhythmic flow. All in all though, pretty good; and the end has a nice sense of closure.

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  2. Criticism always welcome ☺
    Will update the poem wherever the rhythm has been deviated. Thank you!

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